This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Too much gin, very little bucket
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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