I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize