Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
