every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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