I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
