Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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