where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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