oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
