I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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