Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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