Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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