S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize