i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
