So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
