I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
