She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
