doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
