I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
