Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
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