Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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