just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
