Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
