Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize