On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
