when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
