its not stalking. its research.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
