People with herpes should wear stickers.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
