She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
