im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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