just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
