Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize