He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
