Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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