The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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