go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
