Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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