I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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