i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize