I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
