She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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