hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
