I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
