hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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