just come out here and I will go home with you...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize