i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
