you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
