My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
