chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
