Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
