fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
