look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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