rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
