At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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