Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
