Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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