Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize