She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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