It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
