I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
