Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
