I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
