these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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