guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
