My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's Friday. Sex?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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